Women tend to be incredibly territorial where friendship is concerned, and the cardinal clique that two work together better than three is absolutely true most of the time– sad, but true. For some reason men don’t seem to suffer from this odd social behavior. I’ve never heard one story about a man who became jealous because his friend Fred was buddying up and going off on a jaunt with Joe. If Fred was a friend, Fred was a friend– period. Whatever Fred wanted to do with his time and whomever Fred wanted to do it with didn’t seem to matter one iota. And the friendship between these men would continue for years, and years, and years on a level equilibrium, with nary a bump or rut in the road. As a matter of fact, not only would it continue, but it would grow to include an ever widening circle of individuals to add to the list of ‘Friends’, on both sides of the coin.
When it comes to friendship, some women are like tomcats who pee on their territory to mark it, seeing every other woman as an invasive threat to their special connection with one individual. They become catty, jealous, spiteful, hurt, distant, snooty, sometimes vengeful, and just downright childish. Some of them may keep a mental checklist of every ‘indiscretion’, sizing things up as two nights out this month, one excursion to the mall, and a gathering I wasn’t invited to, etc., ad infinitum. Why women do this to themselves and to their friends is a mystery to me.
Look at it this way– as a mother you can have more than one child, and when you do you love all your children equally. Women have this capacity– everyone has this capacity. We can have a variety of friends with different personalities and interests, with different levels of intimacy and activities that we share, and we love them all, even if we love them for different reasons and in different ways.