Secrets of a Spiritual Feminist (part 1): Women, Sex, God, Relationships, & Life

(Note that sexual observations are made from a heterosexual point of view, because that is the only experience I have on which to base these observations.)

1. Sex is incidental to attraction. Sometimes women make love to men they find incredibly breathtakingly handsome, but other times they choose a man who is not. As a matter of fact, quite often they will choose someone who is not, which for some reason surprises people. Sometimes ‘safe’ is better than the other option; and sometimes it might have to do with a challenge or personal insecurities, though women often won’t recognize or admit that this element exists. It doesn’t help that our society and the media have given the undeserved label of ‘bad boy’ to the handsome men of the world. (Oh, those scoundrels, easy on the eyes, hard on the heart.)

2. Attraction encompasses something otherworldly, something intangible, something unspoken. I have no idea why I found R.K. attractive in ninth grade. I have no idea why I worshipped someone who treated me badly, was rude and obnoxious, someone who delighted in proving on a daily basis his superiority and his dominance of this…this what?…in ninth grade, idolizing someone from a far, or at least across the room, couldn’t possibly be considered a relationship. At any rate, this exemplifies woman’s downfall, our Achilles heel. It’s one big fat reason that we let men– and relationships– get the best of us. Damn, we have to learn to suck it up and be in control of our hormones instead of our hormones being in control of us.

3. Women like to be on top, and not just where sex is concerned. Just as the demon goddess, Lilith, Adam’s first wife, is reputed to have fled the coop because of this innuendo, so women ‘fly the coop’– abandoning relationships, homes, families, and careers, because of an innate desire to rise to the top, figuratively speaking. When not given this opportunity, we will seek it elsewhere. It is a constant life-long quest. (Strangely enough, when men are driven this way it’s considered *Ambition*; when women are driven this way it’s considered *Obsession*)

4. Women don’t always like other women: fat women dislike skinny women; homely women dislike beautiful women; puritanical women dislike the hot and sexy sexually liberated woman (their name for her is whore). Women band in groups to dislike another woman or group of women– it’s true, you know, that there is strength in numbers. And when women get together to do their evil best to down a fellow member of the female sex, it can be every bit as brutal, deceitful, and bloody as the most vicious fist fight among men. (Although the ‘bloodiness’ is more figurative than literal, and the wounds go much deeper.) I can’t help but feel that jealousy plays into our lives far more than we are aware, or far more than we are willing to admit, even to ourselves.

5. God sucks. The patriarchal stereotypical testicular god of the so called ‘mainstream’ world societies, that is. He is also a trouble-monger, a spoiled brat, and totally impotent when it comes to just about everything. In the face of what people consider ‘His creation’, he’s like an inept husband who doesn’t know which end of the screwdriver is which, a guy who has to call someone to take care of every piddly little thing that goes wrong around the house; except that he, or “He”, doesn’t seem to have anyone to call, so the world goes to hell in a hand basket while he calmly states that it is ‘his will’– (yes, dear, I meant for the north wall of the house to collapse, I meant to remove that support beam…it was my will) Ya, right.

6. I hate it when I want to send an email to a female friend and she shares an email address with her husband. Typically it’s older women who do this. I’ll send them girly things anyway; I figure if their husbands don’t want to get my emails they’ll either give their little woman permission to set up her own email account, or they’ll block me (and one did). I always suggest that these women get their own account, though I haven’t seen this happening, and I don’t understand it at all. One woman I know of is basically computer illiterate and her husband gave her the idea that it was “Her Fault” the computer froze up, rant and rave, rant and rave…so of course, now she’s scared to death to touch the damn thing at all– and I have to wonder, cynical ole’ me, if maybe this isn’t what he was hoping for.


7 Comments Add yours

  1. moonfire2012 says:

    Reblogged this on Tried by Fire and commented:
    There is so much truth in this. I love this lady’s blog.

  2. Diamondintherough says:

    Hi Amythyst, I enjoy your blog very much. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and thoughts.
    This topic has been on my mind for a few years now. I wonder why we act the way we do toward ourselves and each other. I don’t get it and it sucks.Why do we long after people that treat us like crap? Why do people knock each other down to get their slice of the proverbial pie? I think about our notions of scarcity and lack in every way. Hell, most women beat the crap out of themselves every day internally. I know I have been guilty of it. And why do we feel like we are never enough for ourselves? Hmmm…
    Anyway thanks again for your blog and for letting me just ponder.

  3. Crocoyote…I was actually a little sad when I wrote it. And then I moved from being ‘sad’ to being ‘indignant’…which is stronger somehow; and gives you more impetus to put up a fight– though I’m not sure what or who I would be fighting…just life and its circumstances, I guess.

  4. Hi, Sandra…that’s a good analogy, the elephant in the livingroom. When I have too much time on my hands and feel like writing, I never know what will come of it, and this post is the result of one of those moments. I think one of the frustrations I was feeling was the negative way that women will often treat other women, and during the past few months I had experienced this up close and personal, so this essay was probably cathartic for me.

    I just don’t understand why a dear friend, a woman I considered a soul sister, a woman I thought I would be friends with for the rest of my life, would- without any warning or any reason– suddenly decide she didn’t want to be friends anymore. I don’t know if her motives where jealousy for some reason; if she is one of those very ‘tunnel vision’ type people who can only handle one thing at a time, including friendship; or if there were other motives that I’m unaware of. Anyway, it was a very terrible thing, and it made me very sad. It’s also made me very cynical and skeptical when someone offers me their hand in friendship– which is probably the worst fallout from this experience.

    I’m glad you enjoyed the post. 🙂

  5. crocoyote says:

    You got me a little sad reminding me about the world out there… it’s been a while since I don’t give a dam on what others think about me or what I’m doing… you are so right… unfortunately…

  6. so very true…it’s so often the case of the unspoken of elephant in the living room isn’t it…lol… so many things i remember my mother saying to me “we don’t talk about those things” “we don’t air our dirty laundry in public”…ever hear those… sigh…

    anyway thank you i loved your post…!

  7. This is what happens when I have too much time to think.

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