No, this will not be a running theme on my blog, it’s purely coincidental that my last blog post also dealt with this topic (but on a different level). The following questions were put to me by a journalist for a magazine interview. Unfortunately, I didn’t get these questions filled out in time to meet the magazine’s deadline. (My bad, I’m usually very prompt with such things). However, between adjusting to a full-time “real” job outside the home, and the fact that at my age I had to get myself all revved up and in the mood to answer questions on this topic, it took me a few days to embrace the subject.
Anyway, I’ve decided that these questions and this interview, were just too good to waste, so I’m posting it here on Editorial Wednesday morning from The Witch’s Desk.
1. When did you start practicing witchcraft? What drew you to it?
I cast my first spell in the basement of my grandmother’s house when I was seventeen. What drew me to it?…Necessity. I was involved in an unfortunate relationship with a boy, and I wanted him to go away. So, without a lot of heavy thought, it just seemed to “pop into my mind” to get rid of him with a flaming candle and a photo. As I recall, this also involved a little incantation, some spitting, and foot-stomping (I was 17, and angry). I honestly don’t know why, or how, I thought of using magick to fix a mundane problem. This was back in the 1970s; there were no books on witchcraft in our local library, there was no internet. I figured this one out all by myself.
The biggest, and scariest, thing about this adventure…it worked.
Two to three days later, after this novice attempt at spell casting, the boy’s mother called my grandmother. She was hysterical and angry, and I honestly don’t know what would have driven her to contact my grandmother with this information, but she said that her son had been rushed to the emergency room hemorrhaging profusely from a stomach ulcer that they did not know he had. This information was bone jarring and riveting to me! In the course of this spell, I had used a pen with red blood-like ink to draw a large angry line through this boy’s mid-section.
This was an “Aha!” moment…I realized, without a shred of a doubt, that witchcraft and magick were both very real, and spell casting is both very powerful and can be very dangerous. It also frightened me to the point where it would be several years before I took up the torch and resumed this path. It had not been my intention to hurt this young man, but to make him go away. My in-experience and unbridled emotion mixed with the awesome energy of magick had been untamed, scattered, and out-of-control.
The lesson learned: Be careful what you do. Don’t cast spells in anger. Think about all the possible consequences, and then think on it some more. Stay on the light side of magick for the most part, but at the same time, don’t be afraid to protect yourself and your family if the situation warrants it. Be very specific…you’re working with pure energy, and pure energy has no conscious thought process but will take the route of least resistance. Love when you can. Hate in moderation. Try something positive before you do something negative.
2. Does your witchcraft and practice factor into your sex life? If so, how? Has it changed or influenced your ideas about sex?
1) Does witchcraft and it’s practice factor into my sex life? ~ It use to, but quite honestly, at this stage of life, it no longer does (I’m approaching 60). After menopause, when the time of The Crone descends, it’s almost as if your head clears from the physical aspect of life (sex), and you suddenly realize how much time and effort and thought went into this topic. You feel riveted to action, the world opening up in a gazillion ways with so much To Do and Get Done, work to finish and accomplish, new projects to start. When the time of your sexual peak passes, you will be utterly amazed, and somewhat appalled, at how much sex dominated your life, your thoughts, your actions, and your decisions.
What misconception there is about the third stage of life, a woman’s life…The Crone. There is no sitting back and stopping to enjoy the moment (or smell the roses, as the old saying goes). Instead, you rev up and work and move faster than you did in your 20s and 30s. It is an absolutely glorious stage of life, and I feel sorry for those who do not reach this magickal moment.
2) How can witchcraft affect your sex life? ~ Magick can be used to affect any area of our lives, and sex is no exception. I am inundated, on an almost daily basis, by people who want to fix their love lives with magick. Probably the most significant way that magick can affect someone’s sex life is to speed it up, or slow it down, whichever route is the desired one. (There are herbs and spells to do both.) The most requested and popular magick is a spell to get someone attracted to you in the first place; only second to this is magick to keep them faithful. The most unusual request I had was from a transgendered individual who wanted to know if there were a spell to allow them to switch back and forth between male and female sexual organs (literally)…no, there is not. No one likes to think of magick as having limits, after all it’s the “Endless Possibilities” that attract most of us to magick in the first place, but magick does not break the laws of physics, and that’s a good thing. So when you’re thinking about working a little sex magick, be realistic…and cautious. “Be careful what you wish for”, as the warning goes.
3) Has witchcraft changed or influenced my ideas about sex? ~ As a Pagan, my attitude and ideas about sex were already outside the proverbial box and middle-of-the road suburbia mindset. As an example, I don’t believe that we are eternally connected to one partner for our entire lives, till death do us part. (I had an interesting discussion once with a Fundamentalist Baptist wife who foot-stamping declared to me that God had ordained her to be with her husband till the end, no matter how he treated her.) I believe that people come into our lives at various stages and phases for a reason; I believe that we learn something from each individual we connect with on such an intimate personal level. I believe that there is a time and season for everything, and people change, circumstances change, and some relationships will come to a natural conclusion. Most people who live long healthy lives will have several partners during this lifetime, and I believe this is the natural way of things.
My paganism also influences my ideas about sex in that I’m very open to accepting other people’s views and practices, even if their lifestyles or activities would not be something that would be part of my own life. Basically, when it comes to the bedroom and intimate relationships, whatever is agreed upon mutually by consenting adults is no one elses business.
3. Has your witchcraft taught you anything about sex, or your personal sexuality?
Actually, witchcraft has taught me many things about sexuality ~ embrace your sexuality and celebrate the beauty and mystery of it; sexuality is natural and healthy, do not load it down with the spiritual guilt that most often accompanies mainstream religions; there are many different types of sexuality and sexual practices, each deserving of respect and tolerance in their own right; sex and sexual activity are most definitely included within the realm of the Wiccan Rede: “Do what ye’ will, but harm none”; witchcraft is all about the movement of energy to generate and manifest physical changes in the world, sex is pure energy, this energy can be harnessed to magickally manifest change.
4. Have you ever cast a sex spell or created a love potion? If so, can you explain a little about the process?
Yes, I have. One of the love potions I created has a rather unique story behind it.
Last summer my family and I were filming a pilot for a documentary/reality series based on my life and spiritual practices. During the course of this filming, the producer wanted some witchy “B-roll”, so they sat me down in the middle of my “Wytchy Room”, comfortably nestled on the carpet, surrounded by my Big Black Book, bottles and herbs, stones, incense, and candles. I was suppose to start “doing what I do”, so I decided to create a Love Potion.
Don’t talk, they told me. (So I’m assuming this is going to be some of that slow-motion pretty witchy visuals used for editing purposes.) I started with a quart jar.
With two cameramen sitting on opposite sides of me, squatting on the floor, their cameras balanced on their shoulders, and the director and producer watching from monitors in the other room, I began. I added oil to the bottle, filling it half way. To this oil I added some herbs, taking my time, sprinkling them in slowly for the cameras…cardamom for love and lust; nutmeg for fidelity; a stone of rose quartz for love and friendship; and the final icing on the cake: a beautiful whole dried rose blossom.
As the rose blossom sank in the oil and landed delicately on top of the rose quartz, bubbles began rising from the bottom of the jar, floating gracefully to the top.
Suddenly the producer’s voice cuts through the silence: “Why is it doing that?”, he asks.
I’m bent over, fascinated, my nose to the jar, watching in mystified delight. At first I said, “I don’t know, it’s never done this before.”
And then there was a sudden jolt to my system, and in one clairvoyant moment, I knew.
“It’s not me.”, I said. “It’s you guys. Love is just flowing along for someone in your crew.” And I look suddenly at each of the two cameramen seated before me. The energy was outrageously “rosey”. I knew it had to be one of them. And it was.
It was a guarded secret among this production crew that two of them were actually a couple– the tall handsome Russian cameraman, and the beautiful petite field producer. She asked if she could have this bottle of Love Potion to use at weddings and handfastings, and of course, I gave it to her, still in the dark about the total magick of it all.
It wasn’t until later that we found out the full story. This young couple went on to get engaged and were married this year. I like to think of my beautiful Love Potion perking away on the west coast, sprouting love matches, life-long commitments, and beautiful passion.
5. Is there anything related to your practice that a non-practitioner may be able to incorporate into their sex life? What lessons can they learn from witchcraft about sex and sexuality?
If a non-practitioner incorporated some of my occult practices in their sex life, that would make them practitioners. (I just thought I’d point that out.) Most non-practitioners I know would not be open to using witchcraft and spells to influence any part of their lives, much less their sex life. That being said, if couples are having trouble with impotence (male), or lack of sexual desire (female); as I said, there are herbs and spells for this type of thing, something that would help put a couple back into sync with each other. This is a topic that’s so common and that has such mundane roots, I would think even non-practitioners would not be hesitant to try it. (Consider it magical couples counseling.)
What lessons have I learned from witchcraft about sex/sexuality? I’ve learned the most important lesson of all…We never stop learning.