One of the women I did a tarot reading for at Next Millennium in October has been on my mind. I just can’t stop thinking about her; and there’s so much more I would like to say to her…so I will. I hope she see’s this, although it’s posted here anonymously, and I will guard her privacy fiercely– she will recognize herself.

The issue ~ she feels that the relationship she’s in is stagnant, that although they are in love and are happy with each other, it’s just not progressing. She took a call from her partner on the phone while she was seated at my table, and I can attest to the fact that their communication is sweet, gentle, and very loving.

So what’s the problem???

She told me that, because of previous experiences, she prefers to keep this man’s family (both the larger circle of his immediate family and his children) at bay, at arm’s length. She doesn’t want to get involved with them, she doesn’t want to have to “deal with all that”.  (This is where I figuratively slapped my forehead and thought to myself…”WTF!”)

Dear Ms. Stagnation ~

YOU are the one who is preventing the progression of this relationship.  It stops at the boundary you have put up.  You have built a very daunting and unsurpassable fortress around yourself.  If you are not able to step beyond the point you are now; if you are not willing to get acquainted more deeply with this man and his life; if you are not able or willing to integrate yourself into his family and daily routine (and allow him to enter yours), the relationship will either cease, or it will remain at the stagnant point you find yourself in right now.

Relationships are a gamble.  Falling in love is taking a chance.  That’s just the nature of the beast.  Some of us win the lottery and others may be disappointed and learn a few lessons along the way.  But if you never try, you’ll never know.  It’s up to you.