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Blog Post Links ~ Mothers-in-Law, What I’ve Learned from Mine

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The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly ~ No matter how neutral, or how problematic, a relationship has been with a mother-in-law, when I sat down and thought about it, I realized that I learned invaluable lessons from each of these women.  I also got an intriguing view of women with different personalities and backgrounds suddenly dropped into situations and circumstances they perhaps hadn’t anticipated.  It was fascinating to see how each woman adapted to, tackled, or manipulated the people and situations in her life to make her existence tolerable and complimentary to her personality.

Mothers-in-Law ~ What I’ve Learned from Mine #1 

Mothers-in-Law ~ What I’ve Learned from Mine #2

Mothers-in-Law ~ What I’ve Learned From Mine #3

Mothers-In -Law ~ What I’ve Learned From Mine #4

Mothers-in-Law ~ What I’ve Learned From Mine #5

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My Mother’s Ghost

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I’ve been going through some “stuff” lately. “Stuff” that was very stubborn to go through and dispose of, to get out of my mind, like trash in the kitchen. Besides being super-sensitive on a variety of levels, which is not always a good thing, I suddenly found myself with many (many) hours alone to think. (Thinking too much for sensitive people can be a problem, it’s like cooking too much food, it’s excess in a negative light)

In actual truth, all the “stuff” I’ve been going through has been attended to. It’s all taken care of, and it’s all good. But my stubborn mind, like some sort of computer with a virus, didn’t want to realize or accept this.

Until last night.

I needed to put this bothersome “stuff” to rest before it infiltrated and damaged other areas of my life. I also just plain didn’t like the way it made me feel, all these thoughts about all this non-existent “stuff”. Spontaneously, without thinking, I whispered, “Mom, can you help me?”

And she did.

I must have dozed off after this. Because the next time I opened my eyes, she was standing by the bed bending over me. Her face was just above mine, and she had this devilish twinkle in her eye. She raised a finger and pointed at me for emphasis, and she said, “Remember Diane”.

And I did.

I must have closed my eyes again in this dream within a dream. Memories of my mother and conversations we had about Diane, along with details, emotions, and moments came flooding back. It was something only significant to my mother, and it was my role then to help her see things clearly and put it all in perspective.

This time our roles were reversed.

She talked about a lot of other things too. How sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and jump off the cliff because you know that there is someone at the bottom who is solid and good and honest and too-wonderful-for-words, and they will catch you.

She talked about how nothing can grow and thrive without trust, and that learning to trust someone is like a leap of faith, just like jumping off that cliff. You’ll just know in a weird unexplainable way that they will catch you and safeguard your heart and soul, because they are who they are.

This morning the air seems clearer, the sun brighter, the shadows gone.

Are They Kidding? ~ Writers, Stop Writing for Free

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I was thinking that an opportune way to make some extra cash, since I’m still unemployed in the great sunny land of Arizona, would be to write, specifically to write magazine articles. So I started looking for magazines that would fit my topics of expertise.

First, I found several very enthusiastic, colorful, glossy even, new-age periodicals that proclaim to prospective contributors… “We don’t pay, but you’ll receive 2 (or 3, or 4, or 5) copies of the magazine; or you’ll receive one PDF; or online copy, etc. etc. Well, shiver me timbers, am I supposed to be all dewy-eyed with the honor of acceptance into an elite (and very underpaid) group of creative enthusiasts?

Some of these periodicals back up this offer to work for no pay with a lucrative (?) offer of free advertising in their periodical. One such magazine cheerfully states, “This is a $30.00 bonus!”

I know, I know, I can hear the happy free-lancers, thrilled to see their names in print, declaring that these small new-age periodicals could not afford to pay writers for the articles they submit. Well, you know what? If they didn’t have your FREE articles to publish in their magazines, they wouldn’t have any magazine to publish… period. And I might add that these magazines can be expensive for the public to purchase. I know of one that charges $16.00 for a single copy.

Would you work at McDonald’s for free? Would you work in retail for free? Would you spend hours doing any job… for free?

Well, writing is a JOB. Writer’s have to pay bills, just like everybody else. Writers need to make a living, and we’re not going to be able to do that when miserly opportunists rip us off.

A Desert Reading ~ Mercury Retrograde

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What should I rethink?

Who’s in charge? Do you think it’s you? This might not be the case. Some of you may have handed over the reins, even sub-consciously, to another individual or entity (as in company, or group, who can use this place of power). So let me ask you again… Who’s in charge? If you’re not sure at this point, you’d better get a grip on it.

What should I redo?

If you’ve done something really stupid to endanger a relationship, whether it’s a romantic relationship, friendship, or other partnership, you might want to redo (or undo) what it is that may cause damage. And then, cross your fingers that it’s not too late. Actions might be easier to eradicate, maybe, depending upon what it was; but remember that words once spoken can never be taken back. Once spoken, once heard… too late for some to do any back-tracking.

What should you reconnect with?

Everything. Life. Slow down. Some of you have been burning the stick at both ends; some of you have been on such a forward roll, whether with your career and work, or any number of personal things, that you have neglected other aspects of your life. I think it’s time to stop and smell the roses. If you don’t do it now, the garden may dry up and you might be surprised at what’s left.

What needs to be re-evaluated?

Relationships. Who’s your friend and who’s not? It’s time to take the blinders off and leave the naivete behind. If you’re going to make an honest assessment of who you can trust in your life and who you can’t, you’re going to have to take a good hard look at your connections… Who has your back? Who waffles? Who caters to your ideas with a steady stream of “yes”; and who gives you honest opinions that contain some depth to them, though it might not always be what you want to hear? Is there anyone in your circle that’s causes problems in your life in any way? Decisions may have to be made. Think of it like Facebook, there’s a delete button for a reason, though real-life face to face closet cleaning might be more difficult and emotional.

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