I suddenly come alive within my body in wonder and acknowledgment of it’s miracle. I feel it as I am, it is, I am…I am…I am, I keep telling myself in amazement. I’m here, on the inside, looking out, listening, learning, watching, absorbing. No one knows this, the people around me seem unaware of it, the world seems unaware of it, but it’s true. I wave my hands wildly, my spirit trying desperately to be acknowledged, to be recognized. I’m like a sponge ready to absorb all that life has to offer me, all that I can grasp with eager hands, an eager soul, an eager body, an eager mind. What will I feel? What will I learn? How will I grow? How do I begin this journey in earnest, really, how do I push off and begin to move forward? And how will I know when I’ve reached my destination?
Color for the Maiden: white
Moon Phase: waxing
Her Influence: new beginnings
They all turn to me– the children, the husband, the community, the world. I am the center of the wheel. The universe is spinning around me as I create, build, grow, come alive with new ideas, and immerse myself in new projects. The spokes of the wheel come to me, racing through space and time from all directions, and me solitary and still at the center, taking the blows of life full-force. I am in the middle of life, going at a hundred miles an hour, watching the world around me race by in a blur of color and shapes. This is my time, my time to succeed, my time to taste the glory of life, my time to fill all the empty spaces. I feel that all the world, all the wild things in it, all the green things in it, are growing from something within the center of me. I was, I am, I will be. How can I keep from being absorbed by all the frenetic scattered energy and activity around me? How can I maintain my own identity without losing it amongst the myriad roles that I play in this life?
Color for the Mother: red
Moon Phase: full
Her Influence: ongoing projects, birth
Sometimes I’m tired, tired of the physical struggles of life. I’m tired of cleaning this house, I’m tired of trying to pull everything together for everyone around me. I’m tired of carrying life’s responsibilities on my shoulders for so long, through so much, through good times and through crises. I’m tired; I’m old and I’m tired. I would just like to sit in a chair, beneath a tree, with my hand on a cat and listen…listen to the wind in the leaves, listen to the earth beneath my feet, listen to the cat beneath my hand, listen to the birds and voice of nature. I want to be still, if even for a moment, and listen to the whisper in my ear, the voice of the goddess. She’s calling to me now, her voice laced with a sense of urgency. She’s waiting for my answer. Have I learned enough? Have I done enough? Have I finished my tasks? What is left to do?
Color for the Crone: black
Moon Phase: waning
Her Influence: death and rebirth
This blog post is an excerpt from my book,
The Spiritual Feminist
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