Jennifer H.

5.0 out of 5 stars A Lifeline for those in Toxic, Traumatic Relationships!
Reviewed in the United States on November 18, 2023

Almost universally experienced, toxic relationships resonate with us all. In ‘Chronicles of a Madd Housewife: It’s Not You, It’s Me,’ acclaimed author Amythyst Raine diverges from her previous works, and offers readers a shocking glimpse into the entanglements of toxic relationships. With vivid storytelling, she shares a profound journey, providing insights into the complex dynamics of these types of relationships. The book is divided into three sections to guide the reader through this journey:

Part 1: Coffee and Ruminations

In this section, the reader is taken on an intimate exploration of a highly toxic relationship. Within these pages lies a candid narrative of lies, betrayal, and heartbreak. This section offers us a glimpse into the diary of this “madd housewife” who feels like everything she thought she knew about her partner and her relationship is turned upside down and nothing makes any sense. Much like Madd Hatter said in Alice in Wonderland, “If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?” This is the kind of rabbit hole our titular housewife has fallen into and there is no logic in this land! This section was hard to read and more than once I had to set the book aside and walk away because I was so angered at what her partner said and did to her! Those in similar relationships will find their feelings validated while reading Part 1 and understand they are not crazy, that it is not their fault but rather a flaw in the partner.

Part 2: Things You Should Know

Here, we navigate the complexities that often accompany toxic relationships. From identifying emotional turbulence to understanding when “harmless flirtation” crosses the line into infidelity, and is there even such a thing as harmless flirtation? This section delves into crucial topics, including how to handle a partner still hung up on their ex, how to tell when an emotionally unstable person is lying to you, and the different types of cheaters. This was my favorite section because it not only describes what toxic behavior is and how to identify it but it gives you actual concrete steps you can take or how to act in each situation. This is something I find lacking in a great deal of “self-help” books. Sure, they can point out what to look for but rarely do they tell you what to do when you are in the situation! This is much appreciated!

Part 3: Healing and Rebuilding

As the storm subsides, a new phase begins. In this section of the book, we find guidance on recognizing the right time to step away or if the relationship can be salvaged. Included are insights to help one cope with relationship trauma, surviving recurring bouts of infidelity, establishing boundaries (be it boundaries with a partner’s ex or boundaries after your relationship is over), and a myriad of other insights for healing and growth. The author also lets the reader know that she is not a professional and that this book is not meant to be a substitute for professional help and if one feels in danger one should contact appropriate agencies.

Having read all of Amythyst’s other books I was unsure what to expect with this one as it is so far from her usual subject matter. I am here to say I was not disappointed! This book was just as intriguing as her previous works, perhaps even more so. To me, that is the mark of a truly gifted author when they can write so engagingly on a variety of topics. As I mentioned previously, nearly all of us have been in a toxic relationship at one point or another so I honestly recommend this book to everyone. Even if you have left that toxic partner in the past often the wounds remain. Amethyst offers the medicine to help heal those wounds.

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